SOL Magazine Issue # 2 January 2009.
[SPAM] Like It Or Not…S/E/X SELLS!
"Why are you slinking around like the dog when he's guilty?" my husband
asks.
I didn't think anyone had
noticed my discomfort. I nervously start sorting through my stacks of
colorful files.
"Is that what I look like? I
don't feel guilty, just miserable. I'm supposed to be writing this
article on Sex - and I don't think anyone will like me afterwards," I
mope.
"Really?? I like you! Everyone
still likes Anastasia, even though she spoiled the fun of a few people
when she told them that Sex as most people think of it was for one thing
and one thing only ...well... you know what I mean....Do you know how to
start writing it at all?"
"Yea...How about this: If I
were a red, hairy demon, sitting on a dark cloud, maybe number thirteen,
looking down upon Creation scheming HOW I might set it up to easily keep
humanity in perpetual misery, such as relationships in terminal turmoil,
neurotic children raised in broken families, guilt simmering everywhere,
judgments ringing off church-pulpits, politicians footsying under
restroom-dividers, economy thriving off of the biggest unacknowledged
industry of the Western Culture...and..."
"STOP! You sound as if
you are just about to threaten the entire US monetary system," my
husband Benny is holding his ears.
"Threatening our economy? I'm not worried about that any more; there's
not much left of it anyway."
But actually, I HAD been
wondering about that; how so much of our culture seems designed to
preoccupy men and women with the idea of frequent copulation, presumably
to bring them romance and lasting happiness, when that archaic
animal-behavior actually ruins relationships - AND people's lives and
pocket-books - faster than I could write this article. How many
retail-stores, business-services, publications and professions are
directly dependent upon the idea that as long as there is frequent
orgasmic copulating activity, there is lasting love, security, success
and true power.
"How about I let the cat
write it?" I ask Benny. "For a tom-cat, Civet did quite well with that
article on the Nostratic language last issue, didn't he? After all, HE'S
the one who abuses his beautiful erotic, spiritual nature twice a day
with that darn woolen rabbit, so he should know best. And imagine what
Ryan said when I asked him for help with the article? He says, with his
erotic, rolling voice, 'Well, that sounds interesting, but WHY would you
want to take something away from people that feels soooo good.' Ha, I
thought, so does cocaine! He should know, having struggled with
addictions all his life. But I am not taking anything away from
people...I'm not taking away a thing! Actually, I would be ADDING
things: balance, bliss, happiness, long-term relationships, unbroken
homes, guilt-free sensuality, energizing intimacy..."
"You don't have to
convince ME! Well, why don't you tell them what Christian Opitz, your
German neuro-scientist friend said...that orgasmic sex is secondary in
addictiveness only to cocaine? And that the dopamine rushes it causes
can produce crash-downs in people faster than they got high, and that
those are as depleting, depressing and anxiety-producing as
drug-trips....and cause more psychological, relational, spiritual and
other miseries than anyone would ever want to know...!"
"Wow! You almost sound like me, my Dear! Have you been reading any of my
books?" I am delighted by my husband's enthusiastic support.
"How can I not! I
actually make contact with the sensitive material by tripping over those
stacks of books everywhere. How in the world are you planning to get
two-thousand years of esoteric information and this cutting-edge brain
research into one short article?"
I can tell that my
dear mate of several decades has suffered from my strange writing
habits, namely spreading my materials all over the floor.
"Actually, maybe I
just changed my mind. Why shouldn't YOU be the messenger who will bring
the unpleasant news that humanity's favorite pastime might not have been
without dire consequences, even though there might be a very happy
ending? After all, men might be a bit more resistant to this information
for reasons I need not explain to a guy? So, move the cat off of 'Sperm
Wars', 'Mean Genes' and 'The Evolution of Desire,' dust off 'Liars,
Lovers and Heroes', skim through 'Women, Passion and Celibacy' and that
other stack over there, and particularly read up on...here...'Peace
Between the Sheets'. To make my - I mean YOUR - dilemma worse, do
remember please that this article is for our wonderful Space of Love
Magazine, a family and sustainability magazine, so make sure you use
none of those male terms when you approach this delicate matter, my
Dear."
Now I am tickled. I
effectively rid myself of this ominous-seeming task.
"Oh, let's see...,"
Benny pretends to pick up on my writing challenge: "'What's an orgasm,
Mommie?'
... >>
Read the full article in
SOL Issue # 2, January 2009
Copyright © Regina B. Jensen and
SOL Magazine, 2009 All rights reserved
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